The Elders and the legacy

 

Said by some to be prophets, by others as wandering oafs, The Elders remain as a touchstone for Glasgow Carromers. A senate of knowledge and a pool of wisdom, learned in the ways of powder and protocol, The Elders have long held sway over the game.

Stephen, Bruce, John and Yati Mayor ( "there's mair at mayor's") have been boarding since long before the Good Friday Agreement. Converts and apostles have joined the movement with will and belief. Paul McCole bought an A-R board after completing his trans-Atlantic solo rowing trip during 2017 - 2021. Jim has landed like a magpie at The Towers to claim treasure, wins and flukes. Jas nailed a handsome upgrade board during lockdown. Paul Shep obtained A-R from the Dark Web and Stu Thomson created his own board from the five of spades, the two of hearts and a Rubik's Cube.

All hail The Elders and let us all hail the year 2023 mezzzanine converts at Linen 1906 including Tommy, Fraser, Harry, big Stu D, Liam and other Linen staff, Fraser's dog and the wee Indian burd Bobby who schooled us in January. If such passion is the legacy of The Elders, let it be noted that our designs are benign. 

A new generation beckons.

Carrooka

 

carrooka

Salam Alaykum

SCL man James Young has ordered a carrooka board. 

Described as a blend of carrom and pool, carooka is a finger-flick game of family-friendly fun. James states that Linen 1906 will be the first public venue in Scotland to host carrooka.

The blog reached out to The Elders for their thoughts.

Stephen McCole "Interesting. J' know whit I mean. Always up for a new experience. Looks alright, but it's no' carrom, j' know whit I mean? I've done a mix."

Paul McCole "Aye man, naw.. Aye definitely, but aye, naw it is no' the same but aye naw definitely"

Stu Thomson "I know how it is done."

Jim Muir "If this catches on we'll all be trans by the start of September." 

Bruce Morton "The Disney Plus of carrom. Jog on."

John McManus "It is same as Joseph Goebells in the 1930's distracting German citizens from what was actually happening. Same happened at the Bay of Pigs when Cuban expats and the CIA tried to overturn the popular vote in Cuba. Basically the same thing. Did you know - and this is a fact - Ska bands have always had the best drummers." 

Paul Shep "I'm fine with a lazy Susan"

Fraser: "Embdy seen ma dug?"

  

First Contact

Are we alone in the Universe? 

Evidence suggests that few are sure.

Now, the James Young telescope has identified four distant exo-planets and a moon of Jupiter capable of sustaining carrom. Science World writes that to enable boards, planets must have oxygen; water; trees; crops, a lathe and powder.

Of course, to reach the locations would demand fusion energy and a protractor capable of being bent backwards and able to spike treble twenty on a dartboard. 

In search of Scottish opponents for the SCL, all of Google has now been investigated. All of Facebook has been scoured. Twitter is ignorant. It took me a year, but I have now read the internet twice and if there is carrom life out there somewhere else in Scotland it is keeping it's head down. 

Perhaps it is that they know of us. 

Know how we have mastered the art of fluke. 

Or perhaps we are alone in Scotland..

And then, on March 13th, The Gavin Mitchell Dish in Queen's Park reported a fast radio burst from Ganymede (a Jupiter moon) which, translated, read  "2 v 2, anytime. Us lot have got four arms each."

The GM Dish response will take 10 light years to land but consists of this: "Yer sister punts cooncil"

Just Stop Oil targets carrom

 

Salam Alaykum

Just Stop Oil states that carrom is a legitimate target for protests against fossil fuel.

Following disruption to The Grand National and the snooker, it was perhaps no surprise that the SCL meet at Linen 1906 on Thursday 20th April was delayed whilst police removed protesters from the mezzanine.

One person glued himself to a board, another glued himself to a door and a third glued himself to a fourth. Two passsing glue sniffers charged into the pub and added to the confusion. All hail the Linen staff who set off a fire alarm and, too, hail the peacemaker Paul McCole who exhorted, from the mezz, "Calm doon - we've all had a wee bit of glue!"

Order restored, protesters huckled, the meet progressed in convivial fashion, three boards placed, the year 2023 new players now settled and lauded as SCL crew and more brand new players showing up that evening to try the game. 

However, OGs Paul, James and Bruce conferred and suggested that the April 27th meet at Linen be iced. "The safety of players is paramount" said Paul. 

Bruce (who didn't lose a game that evening) was in accord. James - who had inhaled a lot of the glue - muttered some stuff about Ann Peebles' first album and promised to provide extra security at the venue, including drones and a doorman with a Mandalorian helmet.

So, the April 27th meet is likely to be postponed. We shall be back on the Linen mezz on Thursday May 4th. Check the Facebook Southside Carrom League page for fast updates.

Further, the Summerboard Event 2023 at The Cabin could be a target for these fruitloops. OG Stephen McCole, who is hosting the event, says that security will "be heavy." At time of writing, Stephen is acting in Anna Karenina at The Lyceum, Edinburgh.

 

Arrests: Free the Carrom Two

 

SCL Treasurer and Deputy Chief Executive arrested. 

Bruce Morton and Paul McCole were dragged from their homes as part of an ongoing investigation into SCL finances. McCole was slung into a police van while defiantly waving his recent Linen Trophy. Morton was heard asking protesters to stay calm.

Police Scotland seized a motorhome parked outside McCole's gaffe. The motorhome is valued at £20,000 and features a microwave, shower, first-aid station and decks.

SCL magician Stu Thomson has been cautioned under Section Two of the Scot Law Regulation, citing him as an accessory and conjurer after the fact. Thomson is said to have concealed McCole and Morton behind a magic waistcoat.

Paul Shep states that the SCL "must get it's house in order."

Outside Glasgow Sheriff Court, a band of supporters called for the release of the Carrom Two. 

At that protest, Jim Muir was tazed and James Young was charged with impersonating Callum McGregor.

Such heavy-handed police tactics will not stop Carrom. Rather, such initiatives fuel the movement and drive it underground. 

The SCL is now no longer just a board - we are a resistance.

Merch

Summer collection from the SCL

 

Classic white T

Available in red, gold, butter, green

 

 

Long sleeve heavy cotton

 

 

Canvas Moira tote bag

 

Band of Boarders

 

Made a 2 minute vid based on Band of Brothers and Carrom. File size exceeds the allowed on Blogger so here is the youtube link to it.

Band of Boarders

St Pouder's Day

 April 13th is St Pouder's Day.

A day of celebration for Carromers worldwide, the event marks the birth of the game's patron saint, whose influence across the four corners of the board marks a fundamental moment in our culture.

St Pouder is credited with preaching the Word of the Wood to the lame, the poor and the gameless and to driving weasels out of Ireland. Denounced by bishops and forced into exile, in 1598 he pilgrimed to The Himalayas where, in Wu Tang Temple, under the guidance of Ka Ma and Tripitaka, he would rebound one hundred times a day.

After three years of asceticism, he travelled on the cow of seven hooves to India. It was there, in Pune, that he met Guru Babu. This was the game-changer. Babu ran a lumber yard, smoked tons of cooncil and was connected with known Carrom Lords.

There and then the game, as we know it, began to flourish. And saw boards built in beech, birch, rosewood and even with oak frame. Artisans converged. Patrons contributed. Mavericks experimented with slate, copper and glass. It was a Fin de Ciecle carrom bloom.

Presently, St Pouder's Day is an institution. A day when Carromers raise a glass to yer man; gather round boards; do a bunch of hail-hailing and sing Into The Mystic. 

This year's event falls on the same date as a Linen 1906 Meet. 

Revellers can look forward to the Parade of Strikers; the Board Floats, the Roller Derby Queens and, of course, The Powder Ceremony.

Into The Mystic